The Bitter Snows of Remembrance
by Sara Jaye
Summary: Lex doesn't want to think about Grandbell. Tiltyu wants to remember the good times. Azel is caught in the middle. Written for the emblanon Gen Meme.


"Do you guys remember all the adventures we used to have?"

"What?" Lex blinked. "Tiltyu, that's kinda random to bring up at a time like this! Right, Azel?" Still, he thought, it was better than her complaining about the cold like she had been five minutes ago. The army was marching through the Silesian forests, keeping an eye out for any signs of Maois's soldiers, and Lex would have thought the conversation would be a welcome distraction. But right now their childhood was the last thing he wanted to think about; he didn't want any reminders of Grandbell or their fathers or how simple their lives used to be.

Azel, standing off to Tiltyu's other side, only shrugged, much to Lex's annoyance.

"Well...this snow _does_ remind me of how cold it used to get up north," he said. "Remember how every year we'd spend the winter solstice someplace else? One year it was at Velthomer, one year at Dozel, another at Freege..."

"Yeah! And it was always the best at Freege, right?" Tiltyu said. "We'd play in the forests near the castle and bring a big basket of food, sometimes Ethnia and even Blume came along with us and it'd be like a party in the snow!"

"Hey, now," Lex said. "It was just as much fun at Dozel, wasn't it?"

"It was _fun_," Tiltyu said, "but your brother was always so mean to us."

"Especially me," Azel added. "Danan never liked anyone who could use magic, though. Somehow he thought it wasn't very manly."

Lex bristled. Danan was the _absolute_ last thing he wanted to think about right now.

"Can we please talk about something else?" he asked stiffly.

"Oh, come on, this is fun! Azel's enjoying it, right Azel?" Tiltyu said.

"Well..." Azel bit his lip, an obvious attempt to get out of answering her properly. It was so like him, every time Lex and Tiltyu would argue he'd refuse to take sides, which was admirable...unless you really wanted or needed him on your side. Which Lex did right now.

"Azel, tell her we should be on the lookout for pegasus knights and wind mages!" Lex groaned.

"Azel, tell him it's two against one and he's outvoted, so there!" Tiltyu shot back. Azel pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration.

"Would you both keep it down? What if the enemy's right here and we get ambushed because you two are too busy arguing?" he scolded.

"I just wanna know why Lex is so against talking about all the good times we had!" Tiltyu protested. Lex angrily brushed the snow from his sleeves and kicked at a nearby stone.

"Because I don't want to think about Dozel or Grandbell or our families or anything like that, okay?" he snapped. "And frankly, I'm surprised _you_ want to talk about it at all, Tiltyu. _Both_ our fathers are behind all this, Sir Sigurd's the one taking the blame, any attempt to get the truth out there is shot down and if things get any worse we might be stuck here forever! We'll never go home again and have any of those good times!"

"Don't you think I _know_ that? Maybe that's why I want to talk about the good times, because I'd rather delude myself into thinking it'll be like that again than sit around feeling sorry for myself!" Tiltyu shouted. She was on the verge of tears now, and Lex felt the unwelcome sting behind his eyes as well.

After a long and uncomfortable silence, Azel cleared his throat.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I...I wish there was more I could do for you both right now. I wish there was a way I could talk about this with Tiltyu, and avoid the subject with Lex." He sighed. "I don't like seeing either of you hurting like this." He wrapped one arm around Tiltyu's shoulders and placed his other hand on Lex's forearm.

It was just like Azel, Lex thought, always wanting to be there for everyone even when it seemed impossible. Ever since they were children; he'd always been the first person Lex went to after a fight with his father, and he'd begged Alvis to let him stay in Freege the spring Tiltyu's grandmother died. Sometimes Lex couldn't help but think Azel came dangerously close to spreading himself too thin in that regard.

A small smile tugged at the corners of his lips as he and Tiltyu both leaned into Azel's touch.

"You're the best, you know that? You're so sweet you make it hard to stay mad or depressed," Tiltyu said. Lex nodded.

"We're pretty lucky," he said. _Lucky...no, privileged to have a guy like you in our lives_. He almost hated himself for thinking such sappy thoughts, but he knew Azel would understand.

A more comfortable silence fell over them as they continued to march through the forests, and the cold didn't seem quite as bitter now.


End file.
